It's been two nights now that my bedtime has been postponed due to sleep running away from me. I'm exhausted and furious at small things. My rats making noise cause me to throw things at their cage just to frighten them into stillness. The smallest urge to find me out causes me to spill like a sliced pool side or sack of jelly. I feel uneasy leaving home. I wake up feeling I ate bad food. I wake up shaky, tired, upset, as if I've slept on rock in winter.
Even as Jack continues his strumming I am found still yet in a merciless distress. My mind is no where I can detect. Thoughts leave me as they come, quickly and without introduction.
Stay or leave, either will kill. And in this chair I'll sit till they die and I am rendered safe, alone, and free.
As I anticipate calmly, waiting calmly, planning calmly, I prepare myself for the onrush of that feeling yet to come. As I wait I will degrade my body till it is as weak and frail as reality has led me to be, till I am prepared to build it up again.
No comments:
Post a Comment