Self Rape

Filthy. My skin is a rough dirt and my insides are rotted eggs. The voice of Braddah Iz aka Israel Kamakawiwo'ole have soothed what bubbling yellow concoction has developed. I've forced myself into doing things and in return get no general kindness or feelings of affection. I don't feel it the same like I'm meant to feel it but instead what is in place is a gas. Not necessarily empty but not entirely there. I want to see them do things that make them happy that don't involve me. My influence will hopefully become nonexistent.