Thats The Way The Cookie Crumbles

I feel jerky, my head twisting around, popping and locking in different ways, uncomfortable in an effort, a plea to understand or even to make them understand. That doesn't sound right, it's not exactly what I want to say but I can't find the letters, I can't put them together. I can't understand. Arguments pop up left and right, unreasonable efforts to make me feel misery to feel longing for her are thrown and I just don't respond the way she wants me to. I doubt her accusations and I doubt her sanity anymore. I doubt everyone's state of mind and all I want to do is the impossible, impossible. How relieving it would be to let go and let someone else take my hand. To be covered by guidance with someone else's choices and to be flowing with every groove that someone set for me. How to find a guider might be hard, but to let go of all beliefs, individuality, and morals and just free fall.